Beyond the Light of Polaris
by LavenderIceCream
Summary: (Spoilers for the manga Ch. 131!) It's raining outside and exams are fast approaching, but Midoriya can't get his mind off All Might's words and the predicament seen by Nighteye. Todoroki whisks Midoriya away to watch the stars... from his computer. Planetarium-esque AU (?) for final day of TodoDeku Week 2018: Stars. Some fluff, some angst, some astronomy and lots of tears. Oneshot


(usual A/N at the end!) The planetarium video I based mine off of is here ( watch?v=OUcv3ORj2jc) but I only take the beginning portion of it (the rest are bits that I made up). I do NOT own the video.

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Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

Midoriya rested his face on one hand at the dorm table. He stared outside, absent-minded.

All Might will die.

No one else was in the common room as exams were fast approaching. Even the social Uraraka was holed up in her room, her eyes bloodshot every morning when she would mumble her good morning. Outside, soft rain was falling, silver needles where the light from the dorm would catch it. They sparkled, in and out of existence within a blink of the eye. Midoriya mindlessly began to trace the jagged scars on his arm as he listened to the faint hushing sound of the rain.

All Might's going to die.

I might be alone when I fight All for One.

To die… On my own…

Midoriya closed his eyes. His chest felt inflamed, feverishly hot and itchy. A cold sweat began to run down his spine, and he shivered. A blank, lightless blanket smothered his mind. I have to… I really have to be the next 'All Might'. I have to fight that… being who nearly killed All Might. I might not even have anyone to guide me soon either...

Replace All Might? But, that's impossible…

'You're a loser so we'll call you Deku!'

Oh god. All Might, what if- what if I'm not good enough and Nighteye was right-

"Midoriya?"

Midoriya gasped and jerked his head up, his eyes wild. Todoroki took a step back in alarm. His cup of green tea sloshed dangerously.

"Are… are you alright?"

Midoriya felt the coiled tension unravel between his shoulders even as his heart skipped. He slowly nodded, rubbing his eyes. "Yeah… yeah. I'm sorry for surprising you, Todoroki-kun." He stiffened at the sound of his own voice. Is that really me? Wow, I sound exhausted.

Well, I guess I haven't been sleeping well these past few nights…

"No it's fine. I think everyone's on the edge anyway with exams." The other boy turned around to open a cabinet in the kitchenet. "Is that what's been bothering you? Exams?"

"Me? Bothered…?" Midoriya tipped his head to the side as Todoroki peered inside the cabinet. He casually pocketed some more tea bags. "Also, don't you already have a cup of tea?" Midoriya managed a tired smile. "You'll give Yaoyorozu-san a run for her money if you keep drinking all of that."

Todoroki straightened, fixing a hard look onto him. "Recently you don't seem focused during class. You're falling everywhere and running into walls. You even wrote the year on the blackboard as 2014 today."

Oh geez, I did that? "Hey now, 2014 was an alright year-"

"Midoriya."

"Fine." Midoriya gave a sigh so heavy, he was half-surprised his body could have fit all that air. Todoroki leaned against the wall, and took a small sip from his tea.

"I am… I'm not feeling well. It's… "

'You can't tell anyone this, Midoriya-boy.'

Midoriya felt his chest tighten. He twisted the ends of his cuffs, the words back clogged in a thick mush. It was silent except for the sighing rain pitter-pattering outside. But Todoroki only gazed on patiently, sipping every once in a while.

Finally, Midoriya managed to mumble quickly, "Death. Someone, someone I care a lot for. They're going to die."

'They're going to die.'

As soon as the last words tumbled out, Midoriya's eyes flickered wide-open. The final nail banedg into place somewhere deep inside him. A coffin or a shrine, somewhere deep in his heart. Where he used to run around in a worn-out All Might onesie to "save Mom!" Where he used to furiously jot down page after page of Quirk analysis so "I have strategies to rescue more people!" Where he had hauled junk and useless mechanics all across the beach so "I can take on One for All!"

Where he had fallen to his knees, clutching his chest as the sobs wracked through his body, the sunset the summer before his entry to UA ablaze behind All Might's own, emaciated body.

So I could be a hero like All Might.

Todoroki's eyes widened as Midoriya flung his head beneath his arms. His shoulders shook violently. Todoroki held his now cool tea up to his chest as muffled sobs sounded from Midoriya. He took a hesitant step forward.

"Hwah, that was a nice nap- wait, what's happening?"

Ashido walked in, her arms raised in mid-stretch. She froze at the sight and stared.

Midoriya sucked in a breath, hacking furiously as he choked. Oh no, this is so embarrassing, I've got to stop crying, and Todoroki-kun must think I'm-woah! Midoriya gave a small yelp as Todoroki suddenly grabbed his hand and yanked him forward, knocking back the chair. He began racing them towards the boy's side of the dorm, leaving a clueless Ashido behind in the dust.

Wha-what? Midoriya could only manage a hiccup, the tears still rushing down his face and making the hallway a blurry bobble of bright lights. His wobbly feet unsteadily swayed beneath him. His slippers slapped loudly. I don't care anymore… too tired… Midoriya closed his eyes. He felt Todoroki's warm hand firmly wrapped around his own, clammy one, leading them onward.

Bam!

Midoriya's eyes snapped open as Todoroki threw open the door to his room. He felt his breath come in ragged, uneven pants, and even Todoroki appeared a bit winded.

"Sorry… that was sudden. But I figured you wouldn't want… Ashido to see you like that."

"Ah." Midoriya's knees buckled and he ungainly slid onto the ground. Midoriya stared blankly at his own, trembling arms. What the-what's wrong with me, to not even be able to stand… to be this weak…

"S-s-sorry To-Todoro-roki-kun," Midoriya stuttered. His chest shook from the sobs trapped inside, vibrating through his ribcage like panicked sparrows. A burn started to rise up his neck like a red-hot vice-grip. I'm so embarrassing, I can't believe myself.

Todoroki looked at the trembling curly-haired boy for a moment longer before squatting down. Before Midoriya could protest, he gathered Midoriya up in his arms and straightened.

"Wh-! To-Todoroki-kun, wait-!" Midoriya weakly flailed before meeting Todoroki's eyes.

So close… Midoriya gulped as his pulse suddenly began to race. In the illuminated hallway, Todoroki's left eye shimmered ebony brown while his right eyes appeared steel blue. Midoriya shivered and his mouth dried at the thought that Todoroki was peering deep beneath his skin, like into an open wound.

The two froze as a door swung open. This time, it was Sero who turned around before his jaw unhinged.

"To-! M-"

Before he could continue, Todoroki leapt into his room and slammed the door shut behind them. "Sorry," he muttered as he leaned down. Midoriya slipped off, his face still hot before he blinked.

"Todoroki-kun… why's your room- why are your lights turned off…?"

Midoriya roughly wiped his eyes and looked again. He squinted towards the center of the room, from which a single green point blinked on and off. Behind him with a rustle. A dark shadow indicated that Todoroki was walking towards the green point.

Clickity click.

"Wah!" Midoriya clamped his eyes shut as a blindingly light shone out.

"Sorry, it's my laptop." Midoriya blinked away the dark spots, and saw Todoroki crouching beside the laptop on the floor. Midoriya noted the blankets and cushions covering the floor in front of the computer. Curious, he scooted over just as Todoroki entered the passcode and unlocked the screen.

"... Todoroki-kun, was that an All Might wallpaper?"

Midoriya glanced to his right and thought he saw a faint rosiness on Todoroki's face right as he turned away. Midoriya grinned.

"... Anyway, if you're still wondering about the tea bags… "

Oh right.

Also, is he changing the subject?

"I was taking a break from studying to watch this video on YouTube. It's always… relaxing to me."

"What video?"

Midoriya peered at the screen when Todoroki took a sharp breath. Midoriya realized in shock how close his mouth was to Todoroki's ear. He jerked back.

"S-sorry, I didn't, didn't mean for that, I'm sorry-"

"It's fine," Todoroki replied, his voice slightly hoarse. He cleared his throat awkwardly, repeating, "It's fine."

"Oh… okay."

"Okay."

Silence.

"So… the video?" Midoriya suggested even as his stomach felt like a mosh pit. Thankfully, Todoroki gave a nod and clicked the play button.

Hmm? But it's just a black screen… Midoriya stopped as a calm voiceover began.

"The night sky. Both beautiful and mysterious. The subject of campfire stories, ancient myths, and awe, for as long as there has been people… "

Oh…

In the center of the screen, a glowing picture of the Milky Way slowly came into focus. The galaxy tilted slowly, a streak of blinding light veiled with a haze of black-gray interstellar dust. Delicate strains of piano music lilted into the full thrum of a symphonic orchestra as the woman's calm voice continued. "Living beneath the open, dark sky, the earliest humans were aware of nightly changes, as planets marched across the sky, the moon waxed and waned, and occasional meteors flared across the horizon… "

"It's from a planetarium. But… I like watching it. It's soothing." Todoroki pulled up a blanket before giving Midoriya a hesitant look. Midoriya paused before bashfully nodding, hoping the dark screen would be enough to hide his face.

Todoroki gently flapped the blanket over their shoulders, stiffening for a second when his hand brushed Midoriya's shoulder before he quickly drew his hand back. The two sat, close enough to feel each other's heat but far enough to not touch, as the speaker walked them through the sky on the screen, introducing Lyra's fluorescent Ring Nebula and Draco's spiraling Cat Eye Nebula, Saturn's ever-perfect rings with Jupiter's inferno storms, and of course, the devastatingly empty landscape of the Moon.

"Stars and everything in space… there's not a sound out there," Todoroki said quietly. The Whirlpool Galaxy wavered onto the screen next, its twin galaxies hung together by a single spiral arm. "It's all light and darkness. Since the beginning of time."

Midoriya wordlessly nodded. His gaze remained glued on the mesmerizing blue-white whorls, but the corners of his eyes were beginning to burn. The image faded back to show another nebula, this time a huge globular structure with brilliant arcs of violet and indigo.

"This is the glorious Vela Supernova Remnant, one of the largest supernova remnants to be discovered to this day…"

"Death comes for everyone… Even stars. But… " Todoroki stopped speaking. He glanced at Midoriya. His shoulders were caved in, and he was trembling uncontrollably. Tears were beginning to run down his cheeks even as his eyes were clamped shut.

"I'm s-sorry, I, I, I'm always crying- Hic!- I'm s-sorry, c-could you pl-please not, not look at me-"

Midoriya gave a small gasp as a dark blanket fell over his head. Then, two arms wrapped around him, holding him close.

Todoroki-kun.

…

I can't hold back my tears.

Midoriya felt the caged sob inside him rush out, and he finally cried, burying himself into Todoroki's chest. The tears poured out like from a bucket, but his mouth could barely make a sound other than for sharp wheezes. His shoulders wracked over and over. But the arms hugged him tighter, as though they were gathering all of his broken pieces in place until he could do it himself. In the warm darkness, Midoriya slowly, ever so slowly, felt the gnawing pain boring into his heart finally soothe, until it at last faded into a dull ache. His eyes were left swollen and tender, and his body was sore everywhere.

But now… I feel better inside…

Todoroki had been silent for the whole time, letting Midoriya cry everything out until he was left coughing and sighing. When the last hiccup faded, the video having ended long ago, Todoroki paused before speaking.

"Stars may supernova, they may die… but their light still reaches us," he murmured, gently placing his forehead onto Midoriya's. "Legacies, stories, the past itself, will always guide us."

"... It is more than the North Star that will lead us on."

Midoriya swallowed and then nodded. He huddled closer to Todoroki and let his eyes droop, his mind finally lulled into a deep, warm sleep.

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A/N: Aaah thank you so much for reading this final work for Day 7: Stars for TodoDeku Week 2018! This is my first time doing a fandom event like this, and it was so much fun! I'm glad I was able to sit down and write so much each day, and for a ship I love 3 Thank you so much for reading my writing, and hope to do this again next year!


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